If a You might get the label 'creep' and you might find that your shopping experience will drop dramatically. Therefore, don't ask her when her shift ends, or to meet in the rapey spot at the back of the parking lot, after her shift, when it's all dark and gloomy. then nope. One creative way to ask out a cashier is through lindy hop dancing. Across the Country. Holy cats, it was painful to watch him. I don't want to creep her out or make her uncomfortable, but I don't see her anywhere else to ask her. Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, Not the answer you're looking for? Do you have personal experience where you successfully use this technic? This powerful weapon can be obtained through several means, and, To read the offense in Madden 21, look for the playmaker markers, pre-snap reads, and read/react opportunities. I think OP should probably take advice from local friends and ask what's expected there. Only guy Ive ever asked out! Seemed like a good method to me. Well, the tricky thing about asking out someone in a customer service position is that their job requires them to be nice to you. Its like when people say that women who are catcalled should feel flattered and that theyd personally feel soooo flattered if they had strangers harassing them on the street. This is not okay and very creepy. Its a social conditioning thing. If you're feeling insecure because of the people around think about how it can make her feel too, either she agrees or not it will also put some pressure on her so try to do it when there's no one around, and be prepared to leave either she agrees or not. Theres no reason to be too embarrassed to ever return upon rejection unless youre either serenading the guy in a public show, or if you be otherwise dramatic or persistent about it. Except this is not a conversation about whether its ever OK for a man to approach a woman confidently and in a not-creepy or inappropriate way*; its a conversation about a specific situation, namely making romantic overtures to somebody whose job and paycheck require them to be pleasant to you. At some point we realized that we needed to meet outside the store to really talk, which we then did. https://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/mythcommunication-its-not-that-they-dont-understand-they-just-dont-like-the-answer/. WebAnswer (1 of 7): At the Drive thru window, this happened to me many a time & the one luxury I suppose was that they could just speed off in their car afterwards (or I could shut the window). So everything is possible but it has a lot to do with the interpersonal chemistry. People shouldnt just ask anyone everyone they find the least bit attractive while at their place of work but I think it is different if you think you could really have a strong connection with this person. So, to answer your question if you know that people are male, then refer to them as male: Gentlemen, Sirs, Guys, or whatever suits the occasion best. This is an advice about how to do it, now keep it mind that people mostly tell you not to do it. Conversation will help break the ice and show your interest. Its not a situation I would want to be in and Id never want to do it to someone else. We laughed and decided best to keep things at friendly store chats. He also rips off an arm to use as a sword. For instance - southern Europe here - to me it's perfectly acceptable to engage in small talk with the cashier. Mutual friend. He didnt, but then I saw him one night at a club and I approached him and the rest is history! How To Ask in advance, prepare a little note and state to her what you have stated to us. I wonder if anyone has ever gathered real data on this? Are there any canonical examples of the Prime Directive being broken that aren't shown on screen? Im nice and can have a very bubbly personality, and it really frustrates me that men would assume I was flirting and ask me out. See thats how it should be and how it generally happens in my world, but Im getting the impression that these days theres a lot more creepy people out there and like I said earlier thats just sad that our world has gotten to the point where people assume the worse first and not the other way around. That, of course, is why lots of managers would rather customers notask out their employees its a good way to lose customers who then feel too awkward to return. And the never mentioning it again is mandatory. man its hard to talk to girls without being a creeper ! Many people really dont know how to interact with someone of the opposite sex in a way thats not flirtatious and/or interpret any positive interaction with the opposite sex as flirtation (Im a lot better about this now than I was in my teens and twenties, but I still catch myself thinking/acting like this sometimes). Though after doing some work in an environment where the employees were supposed to be *extremely* friendly I realized you have to adjust your signals to the environment or it gets real awkward. Don't look like you're gonna make a scene and attract the attention of her boss! And I am interested in this person is not exactly placing the Objective Viewpoint Ray on high beams in illuminating whether the nice person at the store is, in fact, genuinely interested. Thanks gsa, Im actually not really comfortable asking someone out, and then there is the whole customer/employee dynamic, but it sounds like Im going to have to be the one to make a move so thanks for the reinforcement! Can I use the spell Immovable Object to create a castle which floats above the clouds? You don't want to be banned for harassing employees who didn't want to date you. I dont know; its easy enough to say, Im sorry, I have a policy of not dating coworkers/customers. If your work doesnt allow it, thats an even easier out. So if it were me, Id just say, Hey, would you want to grab coffee sometime? If they say no outright, or if they say things that imply that theyre not so interested (I dont know, my schedules kind of crazy etc. I still think its creepy to approach the crush him/herself, when theyre obligated to be nice to you. I wouldnt give a lot of credence to the signals in a retail environment, because as others have stated, its his job to be solicitous. Men and women (and women and women, and men and men) have made simple personal connections this way since the beginning of time. If she says "no", just say "no problem, thanks". What cinched it for me was my dad who was there with me. Its great to know that youd be flattered (even if not interested)! rev2023.5.1.43405. If you dont hear from him in a week oh well. But I dont think that means that they shouldnt do it. So I guess its possible for these things to work out. But ultimately, I cant change who I am nor should I. But see how youve mentally filed this under social interactions? The kind of experience you've had would seem alien to most cultures I've known, except somewhere like Sweden, perhaps? Thanks for the advice and encouragement Erin! She's not interested. Again, not altruism: it's in our interest; the path to "why not?" Late in the thread but dont do it while they are working their CS role. Again, only partake this if it genuinely is by chance. not into you, unless you look very good. Try to keep your same happy attitude towards her whatever the result. . I spent time on holidays (and shopping) in Germany, I am familiar with how retail in Germany, in large cities, works. I need her back. Most? One of the firemen involved found one of my coworkers to be attractive. I think you should go for it. I remember the last time we were shopping at an REI a lady cashier (Im guessing who also assists with the wall-climbing area) was talking to a guy (I think who also works at the wall-climbing area too). If she seems to like the idea, then exchange numbers. Any approach must provide an easy exit for her so there'll be no uncomfortable conversations next time. Many, many people have posted here about their experiences working in customer service positions, which require them to be pleasant and nice to customers as part of their paycheck, and how unpleasant and difficult it is to negotiate romantic interest from customers when that power imbalance exists (and particularly when there are people who rely on or even enjoy that power imbalance). To the owner of the shop. We talk every day and meet a few times a week. So I definitely dont think its fair to allege that Im not empathetic here Im reflecting on my own feelings as well as those Ive heard from others of both genders, or as you say, putting myself in their shoes.. Or if you buy a bottle of wine, you can ask her about it. My question is how I can ask for her number, or ask her out for coffee while she is only sitting at the checkout? By the way, having this sort of opening is a big reason boys start rock bands. (Well, I guess it was scandalous when marriages were arranged so okay, normal since women got agency.). How To Ask A Cashier Out? - Criminal Defense Lawyer Hollywood Speaking of which, if someone at workcustomer or coworkerasks you out, and you dont want to go, EFFING SAY SO. Is it just me, or are libraries worse than other environments? The problem is that all the good intent in the world doesnt really change how the service person being put on the spot is going to react. I was the only female that worked there, and getting hit on generally happened in two categories. Hitting on generally is either straight-up propositioning or coming in sideways. The employee feels panicked and caught between a rock and a hard place, like he may not be able to turn the customer down without pulling down the wrath of management, and what had been a friendly encounter now turns into a recurring nauseating anxiety. Please. Don't jump to asking for her number, build rapport first. So whats the best way to ask ehr out or get her number while shes working? It may be true, but I strongly suspect its not, and its a consequence of anecdotal data, how a creepy experience is much more memorable than a dull normal day at work, and so on. He was 20 and I was 32. This was an attractive chick asking about his day, a little more than the usual perfunctory interaction. Like, just reading the net, its easy to get the impression that a good 80% of men are creepsters. Archived post. Just as fraking capable of taking care of myself as any man ,thankyouverymuch. I must disclose agenda: I want a world where women are inherently safe and empowered. Its possible that he is burning with desire for you but would get in serious trouble if he asked you out on a date. Ex: "I enjoy that they let you try lots of different wines from all around the world! Also, ten creeps have delivered sleazy pickup lines to her since this morning, you don't need to be the next one. Don't go forcing this or setting up though, because again that might just gain you the 'creep' label and might seem like you're stalking her however you do handle that encounter. Hey, would you like to grab coffee sometime?). If she does not react then forget it. Thank goodness none of them ever tried anything like this, you poor thing! Even if you dont mean for this to be the case, you are in a position of power when you are his client, and its inappropriate to initiate something like this when youre not on equal terms. Start with neutral topics (the weather is an evergreen) and see what her response is. At the end of the day, Im with Captain Awkward. Use a bell on the door to let you know when new customers have arrived, so that you can be sure to greet them promptly. Bustle This is so uncomfortable to me. He will also talk to you. It puts me in an awkward position, and moreover, I dont want to feel sexualized at work. The way she did it was to grab another waitress and say hey, Id like to give my number to our waiter. When I worked in retail, I probably would have been flattered if someone hit on me but I was a teen boy. Plenty of wise advice already. very early in the morning, to find a moment in which the supermarket is emptier than the norm. Its HER fantasy. How are engines numbered on Starship and Super Heavy? I never watch the show. These results are similar to where the pay gap stood in 2002, when I don't think it'll make her uncomfortable, but there's a finer way still. Obtaining it can be challenging, but with some guidance and dedication, you, Read More How To Ask A Cashier Out?Continue, Score a volley in FIFA 22 by pressing and holding the shoot button when receiving a coordinated pass near the goal. Your best hope here is to have a random encounter with her in a more social setting like a bar, where it is a lot more socially acceptable to offer someone a drink/phone number if they indicate an interest in you. After they reject you, accept their rejection graciously. I had to over-analyze every word that came out of my mouth so as not to sound too friendly or encouraging. Im not saying these were nice guys who decided not to tip if you didnt take the bait, but I couldnt choose who sat in my section I just had to hope they were going to tip me. And the corn guy had his own business. And what do you think about customers asking out your employees? Point is, right now they don't, and men "doing our usual" isn't going to move the needle. However, it has happened from time-to-time. I mean there are always like 5 people before and after me, and I think it would be awkward if we are changing numbers while customers are waiting behind us. And I love cheese but dont have any from Spain. what can I say to job candidates who are stalking me outside of work? He was confused she asked, Did you really think one person could eat that much corn?. I was so, so embarrassed and hung up the phone immediately. bulding up your anxiety is all.. .. have you asked anyone there casually where that one girl is, and what's her name?? My dear Internet god, those posters on Craigslist are pathetic. By following these steps, youll have gotten yourself one step closer to asking a cashier out! I met my husband in a bar; I met my previous boyfriend at our mutual workplace. If you ever finish early and want to join me for a cup of coffee, let me know. Something that puts the ball in the employees court without putting pressure for them to come up with a polite on-the-spot rejection. OP, I did this once. I'm aware that Germans are renowned for being very direct people, though, so it could be the right move to do after all. Its this: Be very well dressed and be well groomed. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Also regarding not having much time because there's a lineup. Women arent delicate flowers and men, as a gender whole, arent big scary monsters. Its not flattering, it makes me cringe. There joined a new cashier in my local food product market. My Question is how can I ask for her number, or ask her out for a coffe while she is on Because at least some of us have gotten really, really scary reactions from men when we turned them down. If you get declined, however rudely, don't go complaining. Awkwardness is the enemy of whimsy. I took her for granted and now shes gone. I think, for women especially, there is also the matter of fatigue. They can't just go around giving in to anyone, they have to be picky. _ism_ OP here, I know where youre coming from. Don't ask someone out while they are at work. It was extremely frustrating. There really does seem to be something about the librarian/bookstore girl stereotype, and the kind of men that go for that, that makes things creepy. It is a safe bet that they're all just doing their job. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Instead of just insisting youre a dude and this is how YOU think, maybe try putting yourself in other peoples shoes? To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. It can end well! Just let them do their jobs. Hitting on people who depend on you for tips is low. To be successful in this If I get friend but not relationship vibes, then I can always invite them out to social outings in a group in the future! Q: How should I approach the cashier? He didnt have any way of knowing that his asking me out was going to be such an issue for me, but it still made work awkward and scary for a while, and I did my best to avoid him from then on. That is a requirement of the principle of safe -- which also applies to you. I used to work retail and used to get both hit on and asked out a lot. How do you approach a cashier to meet them? - Fluther In a different life I might have chatted with her more than I did. What should I follow, if two altimeters show different altitudes? If you dont call well forget this ever happened.. When I worked in the bookstore I stopped wearing my nametag (with the blessing of my awesome manager) entirely, because of all of the unwanted attention. If you put someone in an awkward position by asking them out when you arent really sure if theyre interested, then you probably shouldnt be mandating (even in your head) how they are to respond. Ask Amy: Is it still acceptable to refer to men as gentlemen and If you run into him somewhere else, that would be fine, though if you got the signals that it would be welcome. But, I got hit on so frequently, I would have loved to stop it. Am I the only one remembering Taylor the Latte Boy and Lisa the Stalker Chick songs? I think people sometimes forget that retail employees are supposed to act like this, but then, a lot of people assume that if a woman is smiling at you, shes obviously interested in you, so. Oh man! This could be almost anything, but here are some examples: This should be something you actually enjoy, so be sure to let your excitement about your hobby be apparent when you mention it. Um nope and nope. They are paid to be nice and helpful and to show up where youre shopping if they think you might need help. The best you can do is wait until you at least know her for a whole lot of time longer and write your phone number down, and the next time you finished your business with her you give it to her with a verbal 'I'd like to get to know you, if you want to, send me a message. I dont feel shes in love with me anymore even when she says shes still does My girlfriend says she we need a break? By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. By engaging the person in a discussion, you can explore their biases and try to clear up any possible misunderstandings. What people are saying, is to be aware of the power differential, be aware that the person you are asking out may be in a situation where their behavior is constrained, be considerate of the other persons situation, dont take advantage. It was very intentional for me to talk to you about games.

How To Calculate Prediction Interval For Multiple Regression, A Storm Of Laughter Arose Figurative Language, Mottahedeh Vista Alegre, Dr Jason Champagne Eyebrow Transplant, Bumpboxx Ultra Not Charging, Articles H